Stiff-Necked

Lately I have been wondering if I did something to make God mad. It seems like there are breaks to be caught but they just don’t seem to float my way. “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” It’s one of those phrases I never understood and yet it described my own life too perfectly sometimes.

It’s funny even as I wallow in my own self pity and doubt I know it’s ridiculous, but so much easier to look for someone to blame. Even as I do it to myself I tell my own children that it’s wrong. Ricky thinks everything is a punishment from God. He had the flu this week and he kept asking what he did that made God so mad. I told him, “Ricky, God doesn’t work like that.” So now he thinks its Satan that causes the flu.

But isn’t that what we all do? He could think, “I should have washed my hands more” or “I should have had more vitamin C.” Of course he won’t because he’s 8, but do we really get any better at that when we’re 28? Maybe the hand washing part, but the blaming? Isn’t it easier to think someone else did it, or if there’s no one else, some all powerful being has cursed us and there’s nothing we can do about it? It’s certainly simpler that way.

I hear arguments against the existence of God all the time. A few of the most reoccurring are “Why would God give us free will? Why wouldn’t he just make it so we had to listen to him?” And “Why does God let bad things happen?” Or “Why wouldn’t God just talk to us, the way he did in the old testament? Just come down and tell us what he wants us to do.”

Well first of all, wouldn’t life be terrible if we didn’t have free will? Maybe we wouldn’t know it, but who wants to be a mindless robot? God gave us free will because he loves us, despite the fact that he knew we would fail him again and again. Its like any parent. We know our kids are going to misbehave, talk back, jump on our furniture, and eventually become teenagers who break our hearts over and over, yet we still have children, we still love them, and we wouldn’t take away their free will or personalities for anything. When I was told I could put Ricky on a magic pill that would make him sit still I wasn’t even tempted. If Ricky wasn’t bouncing off walls my head would hurt a lot less, but he wouldn’t be Ricky. I think that’s how God sees it too.

Why does God let bad things happen? Well I have two reasons for that. The first, the churchy answer, is original sin. We were set up in The Garden of Eden, where we got to be naked and eat whatever we wanted and do whatever we wanted and the one and only rule we had was not to eat out of one tree. So what did we do? We ate out of the tree. Now we’re caste out of Eden and bad things happen.

Want to know what I really think? I think bad things happen because bad things happen. There needs to be a balance, good with the bad, light with the dark, day with the night. Things balance out, it can’t all be lollypops and roses.

There’s a book I’ve been meaning to get called “Cinderella Ate My Daughter” by Peggy Orenstein. The author argues that princesses are bad for our children’s self image and I agree. I’ve never liked princesses, with the exception of a few, Ariel and Jasmine for example, because they saved the prince. I’ve never been much for the damsel in distress scenario, although I have to admit, with a good amount of shame, that I play one quite well.

And then of course the flip side to Disney Princesses, Super Heroes. I was watching the original Super Man with the boys the other night and I was suddenly struck by how ridiculous it is. How did Lois Lane survive before she new Clark Kent. On the very first day they met he catches a bullet heading for her back, the next day he catches her falling off a building, very fortunate timing for her to become a death defying klutz. I suppose I could be looking to far into silly things like kids shows but look at the message we are sending our children about the helpless women and the big strong men that save them.

Isn’t this the same way we look at God though? Isn’t this what we expect of him? The same people that adamantly claim they do not need God will throw him under the bus for not saving us when we leap from a ten story building.

Along with the free will he gifted us with comes the consequences of said free will. If you walk around in a bad neighborhood you may get mugged, or worse. If you leave your house you may get hit by a bus. These are the chances we take every day so we may live the life we choose.

Even Jesus when he was tempted in the dessert to show that he was truly the son of God refused. The Devil told him to leap from the rock and prove that he really was protected by God and “ Jesus answered, "It says: 'Do not put the Lord your God to the test.'" Luke 4:12

Yet, through all that we do have one promises to take comfort in, God is always there “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8

Oh and why doesn’t he talk to us anymore? Because were “stiff necked” “And the Lord said unto Moses, I have seen this people, and, behold, it is a stiff necked people:
Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them: and I will make of thee a great nation.-- Exodus 32: 9-10 You wouldn’t keep talking to someone who wasn’t listening to you, would you?

Here’s someone who had a right to be angry with God but instead he says this, “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” Job 23:10 We should all be ready for any test or trial that may come our way and bear it with a smile because better days are ahead.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. “ Matthew 19:21

Good news!

“Pray for me that when I speak, God will give me the words so that I can tell the secret of the Good News without fear.” Ephesians 6:19

I have Good News everyone! I would like to take a moment to share with you all the Good News about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!! Hold on… Wait… Where are you going? Come back, I was just kidding, let’s sit down and we can talk instead about the new American Idol contestants

Or maybe you’d prefer to talk about the crap season the Cowboys had and who you think will win the Superbowl this year, I’m going with my boy Troy Polamalu, Go Steelers!

Ah Christian terminology, how scary it is. I sometimes feel like ever since I became a Christian I can’t say the words “good news” without someone raising an eyebrow. “I have good news… I passed the test!” (sigh of relief from crowd) “Oh thank God. I thought she was going to start preaching to us.”

I started to write this blog last week because I was thinking of Christian terms and how uncomfortable they made me when I first started going to church, and still do some of the time.

They elicit that flight or fight response in us, similar to when you know it’s a Jehovah Witness at the door and that moment your debating whether or not to answer it. Then I found a list of words to never use when speaking to “seekers.” Surprisingly the word “seeker” was not on there. The terms to never use when talking to non-Christians are as follows…Blessed, I was Born Again, I was Saved, Jesus is my Lord, I repented, I had sinned, All are sinners, I felt convicted, and The Holy Ghost. They even went as far as to translate them for us.

I almost laughed out loud. Mainly because there is a need for said list, plus the fact that someone actually saw the aforementioned need. I thought it was a good list though, one that showed that the writer recognized the need to meet people where they are.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not making fun, ok maybe I am a little. Yes, it’s true, sometimes Christians sound silly, but I’ve learned to love terms like the Good News (which also wasn‘t on the list).

So what is the Good News?

The Bible says that it is every Christians responsibility to tell people the good news about Jesus. “Go home to your family and friends. Tell them how much the Lord has done for you and how he has had mercy on you.” Mark 5:19 “He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.” Mark 16:15

So what is it?

Well historically you have to remember who these men are. These men, Jesus’ disciples, have been following Jesus around and watching him perform miracle after miracle. They saw him healing the sick, sighting the blind, they even saw him bring the dead back to life more than once. They’ve also been listening to his teaching and know now that he is the son of God. You may doubt it, but had you seen him calm the sea and walk on water I’m sure you’d be a bit more convinced. So now they are preparing for the crucifixion. Jesus is leaving them, at least in physical form, so what are the disciples expected to do now?

Like any good business man, Jesus knew that Christianity would die with him on the cross if there was no one to carry on his teachings. So he told his disciples to keep preaching keep telling the good new. ‘How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!" Isaiah 52:7

Now, The Good News really is good news, but when I really started to embrace the term was when someone told me what the Good News was NOT! The Good News is just that, GOOD News. “If I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or clanging bell.” 1 Corinthians 13:1 Here’s where it gets a bad wrap. Too many times Christians think Good News means fire and brimstone… Well, that’s not very good news now is it? Too many times the Good News means, to some Christians, “believe what I believe, believe what I tell you to believe!” I don’t know about you but someone telling me everything I think is wrong and everything they believe is right is not good news to me.

So how do you tell the Good News? Is it good? Tell it! “We are telling you the good news: What God promised our ancestors” Acts 13:32 Is it benefiting someone else? Tell it. Is it benefiting only you? Think twice about your motive. “Yet preaching the Good News is not something I can boast about. I am compelled by God to do it. How terrible for me if I didn't preach the Good News!” 1 Corinthians 9:16

So, the Good News is all good, no bad, all frolicking through fields of wild flowers dancing in the wind with Jesus ,right? Our sins are forgiven, we can do whatever we want, right?

Well not exactly.

There is another side to the good news. One that makes a lot of people uncomfortable, including myself, but an important side none the less. This is a side I always knew about, one that made me tolerate the early morning evangelists at my door. Some of them really believed that if I did not hear it, I was going to Hell. “…you must warn them so they may live. If you don’t speak out to warn the wicked to stop their evil ways, they will die in their sins. But I will hold you responsible for their death.” Ezekiel 3:18

What is it then? Good News, bad news? What?

What does the Bible say about salvation? One thing I’ve known without a shadow of a doubt since joining my church is I am not interested in what Christians have to say about Christianity. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to bounce ideas back and forth but their opinion is not the one that matters. I’m not interested in what the Pastor believes is the truth, as much as I love him and respect his opinion, he is not my final authority. If I am going to follow this religion I am interested in what the Bible says. And here is what the Bible says.

Salvation is this easy… "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved--you and your household." Acts 16:31 That’s it, more or less. That’s why he came, to save you. Salvation is a free gift and you can’t do anything to earn it or to loose it once you have it. But, then again, nothing is really free. So according to The Bible, it’s your choice to take it or leave it. And if you leave it, there’s no other way. “Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6 So does that mean if I don’t except Jesus as my savior I’m going to Hell? According to The Bible, yes that’s what it means. But luckily The Bible also says, “In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.” John 14:2

In short, if you thought Christians were know it alls who think their way is the only way, I have to admit, your pretty much right. BUT if you thought that meant that they were holier than thou, stuck ups, who think that it is practically impossible to get into Heaven, your wrong. Everyone gets in who asks to get in. “And God has given us the privilege of urging everyone to come into his favor and be reconciled unto him… This is the wonderful message he has given us to tell others…” 2 Corinthians 5:18b In fact, it’s not even you who asks, “Here I (Jesus) am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” Revelations 3:20 And any Christian worth his salt knows that he is no better than you or I “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23

“Finally, they said to each other, "This is not right. This is a day of good news, and we aren't sharing it with anyone! If we wait until morning, some calamity will certainly fall upon us. Come on, let's go back and tell the people at the palace." 2 Kings 7:9

Let’s recap shall we…

Good News is GOOD News.

“Good news from far away is like cold water to the thirsty.” Proverbs 25:25

We tell it because we are excited.

“We cannot stop telling about the wonderful things we have seen and heard.” Acts 4:20

I know for myself, since becoming a Christian I have met wonderful new friends, have received many awesome blessings, and have a new piece of mind that no matter what happens I’m safe, protected, and have a God who loves me and provides for me.

Being a Christian is not about being right, it’s not about being better than someone else, it’s about loving your neighbor, and doing what it right. So the next time a crazy Jesus freak asks to tell you the good news, don’t run away so fast, he might not be so bad. Or even better, now you can tell him you’ve already heard it.

“Because we loved, you we were happy not only to share God’s Good News with you but even our own lives.” 1 Thessalonians 2:8

Negative People Need Not Apply

"Happy are those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or take the path that sinners tread, or sit in the seat of scoffers." Psalm. 1:1

As I thought about what to write for what would most likely be the last blog of January I started to look back on my "resolution."

"That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt...And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man...” Ephesians 4:22-31

2010 was one of the, if not the most transformative years of my life. Every day that passes what I "lost" gets easier to deal with and what I gained is becoming more and more apparent.

The first month of 2011 hasn't been an easy month. I've lost my car and therefore many of my hours at work. I'm not exactly sure how we are going to make ends meet, the only thing I'm sure of is that we will. "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold." Psalm 46:1-3 "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:19

2011 is the start of a new life for me. I have a new outlook on life, a new business ( http://www.mylindtchocolatersvp.com/amandajimenez ), a new diet plan, my family is back together, things are going to be OK.

And to make sure that is possible I am going to take care of me first, and my family of course! And part of that plan entails surrounding myself with only positive people. "Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future." A google search gave Bill Cosby credit for this, I have a feeling he wasn't the first or last to use it. I do know where this one came from though..."Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm." Psalm 13:20 I've had enough being pulled down by negativity. "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character'" 1 Corinthians 15:33. From now on, if someone is doing something to hurt me or hold me back I am going to love them and let them go.

I can't wait for all of the success I am going to have in 2011. All the cards are lining up, I can feel I am on an upward climb, and it feels good! "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 See ya at the top!



"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

The Eye of the Beholder

I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself today. Most days I love my cozy little apartment. Today, as I looked at the pile of bills and wondered how we will fit rent and groceries into the budget I felt poor and unhappy. I can’t even stomach looking at my almost $300 gas bill while I’m bundled up in a sweater and a blanket with the heat seeping out of the poorly insulated walls. Today I felt hopeless.

Then I turned on the computer and saw this building. This is a school my church is building in Africa. “Imagine these kids as they come into a school building without dirt for a floor and sit at a desk and open a book. wow - the things we take for granted.” was one of the comments below it.

How foolish I am.

I am worrying about tightening my belt for a few weeks, maybe I won’t be able to go out to eat, or go see a movie. Maybe date night will be in home watching a movie (off of Netflix, with my brand new laptop plugged into my even newer flat screen TV.) And I feel poor.

The children that will attend this school don’t have laptops and flat screens, most don’t have electricity to use them if they did. They don’t go out to eat, in fact the only two meals they will probably eat will be given to them at this school. Most wont go further than the 8th grade.

I am worrying about how we will buy groceries. Maybe we’ll have to buy regular milk or whole wheat bread instead of the organic brands. Maybe we won’t be able to buy water bottles, we’ll actually have to drink from the tap! Maybe we’ll have whole wheat pasta and organic pasta sauce twice this week (GASP the humanity!)

While I’m worried about variety, quality, and name brands, these children would kill to have what I have in my fridge RIGHT NOW, before heading to the store to fill my shelves with things I probably don‘t need. What I have in my one bedroom apartment would feed the family of six who live in a one room, dirt floor, mud hut and all of their neighbors for a month.

We had a pastor visit from Africa a couple of weeks ago. Do you know what he said was one of the biggest culture shocks to him coming to America? He said portion size and “you throw food away!” This is unheard of in Africa. If you don’t finish your plate in Africa you find someone who will (but more likely than that, you finish your plate!) You know that old phrase we’ve all heard from our mother “eat your veggies, there are starving kids in Africa.” Ok, no, you can’t donate your half eaten plate of broccoli, and whether or not you finish it will not affect them, but think about it the next time you think “oh all we have is spinach, I hate spinach.” There are children in Africa who would eat that plate of spinach like it was a bowl of ice cream, with a big, spinach eating grin on their faces.

I’m going to try and remember that the next time I’m tempted to complain. To a child in Africa, walking into my apartment, I am rich. My “tiny” kitchen would look like a gourmet restaurant filled with the best foods he has ever seen. My “cramped” bathroom, with it’s running water, scented body washes and bubble bath would seem like a spa (although he wouldn’t know what a spa was.) My old torn up couch would be the most comfortable thing he had ever sat on. Oh, he would think my poorly insulated apartment was cold, but after living on the equator with no air conditioning I am sure he wouldn’t mind. Wouldn’t it be fun to see through his eyes while he played his first video game, or learned to type on one of my two laptops? Sure one of them is broken, but I am sure if I said to him he could use the broken one he wouldn’t mind having to hold the charger in with one hand. And if we made a snack I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if the bread wasn’t organic or the brownies were dry because I used olive oil instead of vegetable oil. I bet tap water would be delicious and refreshing to him.

We could all learn a thing or two from an African child. It is true, “from the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another.” John 1:16 Let’s try not to forget it.

A Grateful Heart

Earlier today I saw this on a friends face book page “Am I the only person who sometimes feels like I should thank God even when I am feeling really miserable (when it is the hardest?)? I just would like your opinions if you feel like answering.”

I love this! I have believed this all my life. I think it puts things into perspective, reminds us better days are ahead, and it's hard to be depressed/anxious/upset/etc when you have a grateful heart.

One strategy for people who are depressed or unmotivated is to make a gratitude journal. This is a book where you put all of the things you’re grateful for, and look at it every day. It reminds you of all the things that are good even when it’s hard to think of them because so much is going wrong. I highly suggest doing this! “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

You can take this one step further and add your goals, or make another book entirely as a goal book. I have a journal I bought with a Thomas Kinkade picture on the front of a cottage surrounded by flowers and a lake, I bought it because every time I look at it, it reminds me of the type of home I will some day own.

I filled my journal with goals, magazine clippings, pictures, anything reminding me of all of the things I will accomplish and when I will accomplish them. Writing this blog I am reminded that it is time to update my goal book.

Inside the cover of my book it is signed by Jack Canfield. Jack Canfield is the creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series. He is a motivational speaker and contributed to the book “The Secret.” I had the pleasure and honor of hearing him speak and to meet him, at one of my company meetings. If you get the chance to attend one of his seminars or to read one of his books I highly recommend them.

“The Secret” talks about The Law of Attraction which is basically acting as if you already have what it is you need. Kind of like Ben Affleck in The Boiler Room. “There's an important phrase that we use here, and I think it's time that you all learned it. Act as if. You understand what that means?” I can’t post the rest of the quote in a Christian blog but you get the drift. Act as if you are already successful, act as if you are already happy, act as if you have everything you need/want. "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him." 1 John 5:14-15

Just this simple idea can change your life. It will change how you think, how you act, how you live. It will change your outlook, attract the people and situations into your life that you want and need. Believe you can, because whether you believe you can or you believe you can’t your probably right. (Henry Ford said that first I believe.)

Times won’t always be easy. "Yes, the Lord hears the good man when he calls to Him for help, and saves him out of all his troubles. The Lord is close to those whose heart is breaking; He rescues those who are humbly sorry for their sins. The good man does not escape all troubles - he has them, too. But the Lord helps him in each and every one." ~ Psalms 34:17-19

There’s no need to worry, everything works out in the end. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7 "Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed. I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will uphold you with My victorious right hand." ~ Psalms 112:6-8 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11

2010 was a tough year for a lot of us, but 2011 is going to be our year to shine!

"I waited patiently for God to help me; then He listened and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out from the bog and the mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God. Now many will hear of the glorious things He did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in Him." ~ Psalms 34:17-19

God Loves Fags

“You can tell that you have created God in your own image when it turns out God hates the same people you do” Anne Lamott

Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. – Proverbs 10:12

When I saw this picture it was supposed to be funny, note the man holding the "God Hates Signs" sign. I have to say in actuality it broke my heart. I couldn't believe that someone could be so moved by their own hatred that they could not only convince themselves that God shared in such vile emotions but also teach it to their children. Whenever I look at it I can't help but think about who that child will be when he grows up. Will he be like his mother, will he embody the ignorance he was raised in? Or, one could only hope, that adolescent rebellion will serve this little boy some good later in life.

The second noteworthy reaction I had in seeing this photo was to say "See! This is why I am not a Christian!" This was about a year before I started going to church and I thought all Christians were either like this woman, brainwashing their children to hate or at least had the capacity to. I was so moved by this image and so set in my beliefs (which were just as ignorant as this woman’s by the way) that I brought this picture up in my first discussion with my pastor. Thinking back on it I wonder what he thought about the crazy girl spouting off about hateful Christians and gay marriage. At the time he just sat down on the ground in a welcoming gesture that let me know he was listening and answered with the words that started my journey behind "enemy" lines "I can't tell you what's in their hearts but I can tell you what’s coming out of it and it is NOT Christianity."

To me, this was one of those moments in life that sets everything spinning. It's not?!? Then what is Christianity?

After reading The Bible and studying it for over a year now I am not only appalled but shocked and confused at how people can justify using The Bible for hate. The Bible is littered with phrases of love and acceptance...

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." 1 John 4:9-11

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:12-13

"As for the person who hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it." John 12:47

To name a few

I recently learned that hate has a name and a face and it is Fred Phelps founder of The Westboro Baptist Church. I had never heard of him before until yesterday when I read about a protest they are planning at the funerals for the victims of the Arizona shooting. Apparently these psychos... i mean people think that God sent the shooter. The picture above was from one of their protests as is the one below...

"Thank God For September 11th" I can't even begin to touch on that one...

Curious as to just how crazy these people really are I visited their website www.godhatesfags.com I found this on their home page ""GOD HATES FAGS" -- though elliptical -- is a profound theological statement, which the world needs to hear more than it needs oxygen, water and bread." Really?!? In today’s society I think we need to hear the word hate like we need a whole in the head.

As a Christian I am not supposed to hate Fred Phelps. I am not supposed to hope to see the day he looks into God's face and has to explain all the hurt he has caused. And the fact is I can't hate him. I feel a tremendous sadness for him and for anyone involved with him. What a horrible existence it must be living with so much hatred in your heart, believing in all the evil that is on that website must be a heavy, heavy burden. I will pray for him, and I hope you will do the same. "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Matthew 5:43-44

What I will also do is send a message of my own. A message I think the world needs to hear more than we need bread and water and air. God does not hate! God loves everyone and everything he created. God loves you, God loves me, and God loves Fags (and if you are a bundle of sticks as the dictionary defines it I just let you know that God loves you twice, because he does, and twice more after that and twice more after that.) How much God really does love you is a subject for an entire blog of itself, so for now we will leave it at that.

Whoever tells you they are a Christian and preaches hate "from The Bible" at the same time is a liar. Don't take my word for it..."We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." 1 John 4:19-20

Or I guess I'll take a cue from someone I have grown to admire very much and say "I can't tell you what's in their hearts, but what I can tell you is it NOT Christianity."

Tired

This week went by way too fast. It's been a sad week at work, telling all my clients I won't be seeing them after the 31st. Not having a car is going to be hard but I've been wanting to simplify, careful what you pray for...

Wednesday my mom gave me some gas money so I could go to church, it was pretty cool getting paid to go to church. We started a Bible study on the book of Philippians which is my favorite book, tied I think with Ephesians. My favorite Bible verse is definitely from Philippians... "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8

Thursday Ricky started basketball. He was the only one on his team who could get the ball in the hoop! It was great to see him excelling in something and he knew it...only my child celebrates a lay up like a touchdown.

Saturday Julie, Russ and Kelly came over for game night. That was a fun time.

Sunday was a long day. The kids were crazy hyper but we had a lot of fun, they built me a church...

I love my kids so much! I had no idea I'd enjoy teaching as much as I do, I'm actually thinking of going back to school to become a teacher.

Service on Sunday was on bitterness, a message that hit a little close to home. "Bitterness is formed out of the soil of a broken heart" Indeed! I was trying to tell myself I was not bitter until earlier tonight when Eric started to cry because he was thinking of my ex. Ok, I have to admit, still bitter, but I'm trying, I really am. "But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" Matthew 5:44... But what about when someone hurts your children? Even Jesus said "At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." Matthew 18:1-6 Don't mess with my kids, Jesus gets Gangsta! Ok I guess I still have some praying to do...


Oh wait, not that kind!

As you can see I'm far too tired and burnt out to form a more coherent thought than trivial details of my past week so I will leave you with a preview of the nine unfinished blogs I am working on... Remember, looks can be deceiving and I did promise to offend...

Born Again
Evolution
Freedom of Speech
God Loves Fags
Good News
Judge Not
Loose Weight Like A Baptist
Never Forget; Lessons I've Learned From My Children
Seven (Not So) Deadly Sins

Coming soon to a theater near you, stay tuned! Good Night :)

The Fastest Fast

“… thou art waxen fat, thou art grown thick, thou art covered with fatness…” Deuteronomy 32:15 (Taken completely out of context) Am I the only one who can amuse myself while reading the Bible?

The following is the documentation of my failed attempt at fasting… or maybe it was my brief yet successful attempt, I’m not sure yet.

January 1, 2011 ~ I sit here writing about my first day of fasting, sipping an iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts. So I didn’t quite make it, but I haven’t eaten so that counts right? I’m fasting NOT for health or weight loss. Fasting does pretty much the opposite of that. I’m fasting for spiritual health and as a practice of self control. Spiritual fasting is the denial of fleshly pleasures so you can become more in tuned with the spiritual ones. So far I just feel hungry, and a bit guilty (but the coffee is soooooooooo good) I have a long way to go.

January 3, 2011 ~ Fasting lasted all of 3 days, but I swear I have good reason for ending my fast. It actually wasn’t that hard. I ate when the sun was down so I wasn’t depriving my body, I was hungry during the day but I kept busy and it was OK. We went to Wendy’s and I stayed strong even with everyone telling me my fast was silly. I prayed “Dear Lord please give me the strength to get through this, please be my portion.” And then it hit me. That was the point. God is my portion; Psalm 73:26.

I saw a billboard the other day that said “Do you have to loose everything before you find HIM?” Well I guess I did. I lost my fiancé, my home, my family, my business, my pets, my childhood home, all in one year. Now I’m loosing my car and with it my job. This has been a hard trying year but I’m coming out of it stronger and better than I’ve ever been. There are still moments of sadness and uncertainty but I have the comfort of knowing, as cliché as it may sound, that God has a plan (Jeremiah 29:11-14) and I don't have to go it alone (1 Peter 5:7)

I’m going to be OK.

Love Yourself as You Love Thy Neighbor

The following is an email I got this week…

"Love suffers long and kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." ~1 Cor. 13:4-7~

"And above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins." ~1 Peter 4:8~

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at any time. If we love another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. By this time we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has give us of His Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been perfect in love. We love Him because He first loved us." ~1 John 4:7-19~

"Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion." ~Romans 12:9-16~

there are tons more but i think God is trying to tell us to love every day :)
anyway i hope you liked this (i read your blog too) and i hope things are well with you. if i dont talk to you before then, have a safe and Happy New Year hon and i will always be praying for you and the kids :) *hugs*”

My favorite part is that he reads my blog… just kidding. This got me thinking about love and one of my favorite Bible verses, Mark 12:31 “…Love your neighbor as yourself.' No other commandment is greater than these." Sounds like a good idea in theory. But I got to thinking, maybe there’s an equally important message hidden in this verse.

What would happen right now if I decided to love my neighbor as much as I love myself? Assuming this means treating my neighbor like I treat myself, I would venture a guess that if I did this I wouldn’t have very many friends.

Loving my neighbor like I love myself would mean I would judge them more harshly than anyone in my life. I would speak to them without compassion or sympathy. I would call them names like “lazy” and “fat.” I would accuse them of being a bad mother on a daily, no hourly basis no matter how hard they tried. I would have no patience or tolerance for mistakes. I would expect them to know everything and attack them with a barrage of insults whenever they got something wrong or needed a little extra help. And speaking of extra help I would give them none, I would expect them to do everything all on their own and I would think much less of them for having to ask for assistance.

If I loved my neighbor like I loved myself then I wouldn’t love them very much at all. I would serve them last, always, and sometimes not at all. I would make fun of everything that came out of their mouths, telling them no one cares what they have to say, what they are saying is silly or stupid, and that they don’t have enough experience or education to go anywhere in life. I would tell them that there was no way they could survive on their own, that they are spoiled and childlike. I would fill them, full of garbage that kept them feeling sluggish all day long, I would over work them and then chastise them for being tired and refuse to allow them to rest. I would allow other people to treat them poorly and never give a second thought to how it made them feel. They would be the last person I thought of and the person who meant the least to me.

But what if I loved myself like I love my neighbor? How much different would my life be?

If I loved me like I love my neighbor I would always greet myself with a smile no matter how I felt that day. I would give myself the best I had to offer. I would encourage myself and comfort myself when I was feeling down. I would listen to myself and always be looking for needs I could meet or ways I could make myself happy. I would think I was beautiful and look for the best in me. I would remind myself of all the wonderful things about me every day so that I would never feel less than my best.

The point here is that if we are truly going to love our neighbors like we love ourselves then we should take a good hard look at how we are loving ourselves. Would your neighbor really like to be treated the way you treat yourself? The Golden Rule is true, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:31 but I beg you, please make sure you are applying that rule to yourselves. Happy New Year! I hope 2011 holds all the joy and happiness you are all looking for, treat yourselves well, and make sure you set time to do things you enjoy...like reading your new favorite blog ;-)